Sculpture

Ontologies and Hauntologies

Reclaimed foam and fabric, polyfill, batting, embroidery floss, vintage tea set, candles

6' x 6' x 4'

$1750

Ontologies and Hauntologies

I am not a good Muslim girl.

I am barely a woman.

I interact with other gods.

I am not who I am expected to be.

Red is a symbol of the root chakra, muladhara. Found at the base of the spine, it is the focus of feeling secure and grounded—something that I have never had control over.

I am falling apart.

Red is also family, ancestry sewn into my lifeless white cloth.

No matter how far I try to get from my family, they are ingrained in me. I love them, and yet they tear at me and string me along like cats. Cats are seen as clean. They are able to pass through holy places and pray alongside us. They play in yarn and fluff and rip and maim. They do not see the damage they do. Muslim heritage connects my family through this frayed, cosmic yarn.

I execrate and mourn these blood red connections.

Sitting with this effigy and dealing with these thoughts allows me to work through the discomfort of being. Building layer after layer, stitch after stitch, my 'awrah is held in a dissociated stasis. My repetition casts a spell for any who sees it to perceive my liminality.

I am not my father’s daughter, nor my mother’s son. I express so much variability that only I may truly know.

The following QR Code is the sound of this piece, place headphones on, sit a spell, and listen for yourself.